Lauren Milfinger Official Site

Lauren’s Books

Site © 2017, 2023 by Lauren Milfinger. All rights reserved. All photographs on this site were posed by professional models, or are computer generated, and all models were age 18 or older at the time of photography. The events in the “life” of Lauren Milfinger, or the lives of any other persons depicted in the books, stories, or other material present on, linked from, or depicted in any photographs on this site, are fictional, and no connection should be presumed or implied to the conduct of any actual person. No direct sales are made from this site, and all financial transactions are entirely processed by the publishers of Lauren’s books, or by other third party services. All photographs and videos are licensed by the copyright holder or his/her agent or distributor, and comply with USC 18 § 2257. Privacy Policy.

My eMail: lauren@laurenmilfinger.com

Follow me on Twitter: @LaurenMilfinger

The Gods are Horny

I started studying Moronite mythology quite a few years ago. This book is the result. The Moronite gods were a strange, incestuous lot, who seemed to find an excuse for sex in everything. The Father-God, Kolek, and the Mother-God, Kanzeki, were father and daughter. Kanzeki had no mother, only a father, and her birth was perhaps the strangest in all mythology. Their twin offspring, Oroyna and Nalima, were both brother and sister and husband and wife, and they were in charge of the earth. They were parents to all the other earthly gods.

Of course, Oroyna, typical ancient god, sometimes got it on with mortal women, which is how Naloro came to be born. You might call him the Moronite Heracles. Naloro would eventually be taken up to the abode of the gods, but his mother, Zara, became immortal and perpetually 36 and beautiful.

Of course, I could hardly write about these ancient, mythical beings without describing their temple ritual. Church would be a lot more interesting if it still involved sex on the altar, and worshippers gave thanks by receiving fellatio and cunnilingus from beautiful young priestesses.

Naturally, I managed to include some contemporary events as well. More on my relationship with my brother, Sam, and some fun with my young friend, Sarah, so it partly fits into my “autobiographical” series, and partly stands on its own.

However you look at, it’s a sexy, often very funny look at an unknown mythology that’s really not much stranger than most real religions.

The Gods are Horny is now on sale. Pick up a copy, or buy any of my other books from my author page at Lot’s Cave. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

Published by Lot’s Cave. 15,696 words. $3.99

Shop all my books on my page at Lot’s Cave, or go directly to The Gods are Horny

Also available at Smashwords

At that point, having nothing better to do, he went back to jerking his cock. But this time, when he was about to cum, he shouted, “Kanzeki!” He shouted this in a very authoritative way. Then he shouted, in a rather more urgent tone, “Ouch!”

Having willed his creative powers from galaxy to goddess, as it were, what came spurting out of his cock was a goddess. She was tall, just over 175 feet tall, with great tits, a flat stomach, long black hair that fell around her shoulders, shapely legs, and a cute, pink pussy nicely framed by a black pubic patch.

“Hi,” she said. “I’m Kanzeki. Are you my dad?”

One of the advantages of being a god was that you could have your children born fully grown, able to speak, and already toilet trained. Not that Kolek ever used a toilet. He presumed Kanzeki wouldn’t, either, but that she would just eat and there would be no waste to get rid of.

“I suppose I am,” Kolek replied.

“That’s nice.” She gazed out over the universe. “It’s nice here.”

“Yes,” Kolek agreed, “it is.” He looked her up and down, this new, instantly-grown adult daughter of his. He decided that she was very beautiful. He decided that she might just set the standard for what beautiful was.

“So,” Kanzeki said, after a while, “what do you do here for fun?”

“Mostly,” Kolek admitted, “I grab my cock and jerk until I cum. Mostly that creates a new galaxy, but the last time it created you.” He lifted his cock with his right hand, looking at it a little uncomfortably. “That hurt like hell, by the way,” he continued. “Apparently this thing isn’t designed to spit out fully-grown goddesses.”

Kanzeki knelt in front of him and leaned close, studying his cock. She reached out and took it in her hands, lifting it up, studying it. “Does it still hurt?” she asked.

“A little.” It hardly hurt at all. He was a god, after all, and gods heal very quickly.

She bent forward and kissed the fat tip. “Poor thing,” she purred, kissing it again. This time she held it to her lips, letting her tongue slip out and lick gently at the bottom of the head. Kolek’s cock began to stir in her hands.

“Oh, how nice!” Kanzeki declared. “It’s getting hard again. Does that mean we’re going to have sex, Daddy?”

“If you suck it,” Kolek told her, “it will get hard faster.”

“So we are going to have sex, then?”

“I believe we are.”

“Wonderful.”