The Gods Are Horny is based on Moronite mythology. The Moronites were an ancient Middle Eastern culture, mostly confined to the mountainous areas of what is now Lebanon. They existed earlier than the more familiar cultures found in the Bible, and had their own distinct mythology.
That’s the story, at least. It’s also possible I just made the whole thing up, just like most religions, except the only way I want to profit from it is by selling a few books to my horny fans. As religions go, the one followed by the Moronites has some distinct advantages over most of the others.
For one thing, it’s relentlessly peaceful. If the Moronites could be said to have a motto, it would probably be, “Fuck, don’t fight.” These are people whose temple rituals include the high priestess fucking a sacred phallic idol on the main altar, followed by the high priest cumming on an idol of their principal goddess, with a little help from the priestess, who’d give him a blow job to get him going properly. This is all in front of the congregation, who presumably watched in reverential awe.
If you were thankful for something, you’d go to the temple and seek the blessing of one of the attendant priestesses, who would consecrate your good fortune by sucking your cock and swallowing your cum. If you were a woman, of course, she’d eat your pussy instead. Being a priestess was a highly honored calling, and significantly raised a young woman’s status as a potential marriage partner once her term was concluded. One of them even married a demigod, Naloro, who was sort of the Moronite Heracles. His mother was a young woman named Zara, who’d been noticed by Oroyna, the chief (earthly) god. He popped down from his mountaintop, got her pregnant, and while he was at it, granted her eternal life and youth.
The Moronite gods and goddesses bore a certain resemblance to the Olympian deities, though that was mostly when it came to hooking up. The earliest god was Kolek, who was the original god who created everything. He was undoubtedly the oldest of the gods, but even he wasn’t sure how old, since he’d spent a great deal of time before there was time, so there was no way to know how long he’d lived before there was a way to measure it. He created by universe mostly out of boredom. Every so often he’d get bored, start masturbating, and ejaculate a galaxy.
After a few million years, he even got tired of that, so he ejaculated a daughter to keep him company. Naturally, being a god, he married her once she was grown (which wasn’t very long, since she was born full grown), but he still waited a few hundred years before he started screwing her. Just to be safe, you see. Even someone who’s born as an adult still needs to hang around for at least 18 years before they start fucking. It’s just a rule.
Getting his daughter, whose name was Kanzeki, knocked up, which he’d quickly decided would be a lot less painful than ejaculating any more fully grown gods or goddesses out of his giant prick, he became the father of Oroyna and Nalima, the fraternal twin deities who were immediately given dominion over the earth.
There were already people there. Kolek hadn’t bothered to create them, it just took him so long to get back to the place after he first ejaculated the Milky Way into existence that they’d evolved on their own. He was more of a Deist sort of god. “There, I’ve made you, do whatever, I’ve got other stuff to do, so maybe I’ll pop in again in a few million years and see how you’re getting on, but, mostly, you’re on your on, so don’t fuck it up.”
Being gods and twins, Oroyna and Nalima naturally married each other, and quickly started popping out a few more sets of twin deities, who also married each other. If this sound sort of incestuous, well, that seems to be how gods work. They were always marrying their sisters or their daughters.
If you want the full story, your best option is to read the book. It’s on sale now at Lot’s Cave.
Writers, as someone once said, write. With They All Cum at Carlisle’s finished, I naturally started right in on something new. 
Okay, it probably wasn’t like that in reality, since Adam and Eve, and Noah and his family, weren’t real people anyway. Nor was there ever a “first” human being. At some point in the evolutionary chain an ancestor became what we’d call a human today, but it was an incremental step, not a leap from one species to another. There would have been hundreds, or perhaps even thousands of generations between the “pre-human” and the “human” before they were so different they could no longer mate with each other and produce viable offspring. For a very long time they’d be like horses and donkeys, still closely related enough to mate and produce a hybrid mule, but far enough apart that the mule is sterile. It would take a lot longer until you had humans and apes, who still could presumably mate, but the mating could never result in a pregnancy (except, maybe, in a few conspiracy nuts’ imaginations).
