Double Event

Today brought something unique. Usually, I send a manuscript in to Lot’s Cave and a couple months later they’ve created a cover, formatted everything, and the book or story is released on as many platforms as will take it. Because a lot of my stories contain incestuous relationships, that generally means that you won’t be able to buy them on Amazon. There are a couple there, but while they still have lots of sex, no one is related to anyone they’re having sex with.

In a bit of a surprise, Lot’s Cave released two of my stories today. Wet took about as long as usual, but the second book, The Donkey Show, was significantly faster getting to market. Wet is a continuation of my autobiography, with an emphasis on the pissy aspects. Not pissy as in bad, pissy as in peeing. Peeing in the woods, peeing in the tub, peeing on a friend, being peed on by a friend, that sort of thing.

If you think that one is potentially controversial, The Donkey Show makes it seem pretty innocuous. When four friends take a trip to Tijuana in search of that legendary show, they discover a club where there’s actually a donkey, and there’s actually a stripper who comes out every night and has sex with the beast. There’s loads of sex in this one. Tom and his sister, Tina, have been getting it on for several years. George is the sort of guy who thinks its perfectly normal to pull out his dick in a strip club VIP room and cum all over the stripper, so it probably shouldn’t surprise anyone when he gets a blow job from a hooker while he’s watching the donkey show in the night club. If George checked out the hooker a little more closely he might have been in for a surprise, since the lovely Carla was originally the handsome Carlos. We can only speculate on what George would have done had he discovered the pretty girl with his dick in her mouth had one of her own between her legs.

Meanwhile Al, the nice one, has a thing for middle-aged call girls who are willing to play “mommy” games while they fuck him. He certainly knows how to idle away an afternoon at the hotel while they’re waiting to go to the club.

Like I said, I don’t see two books coming out on the same day very often. I felt the need to celebrate, even before I sat down to write about it. That’s not actually me in the photo, but it does a nice job of demonstrating how I celebrated the releases. Masturbation and a nice Chablis, my recipe for a good private party.

Meanwhile, Memoirs of an Immortal is coming along nicely. I’ve got Zara/Sarah from Moronia in the 47th century BC to Rome in 46 BC in a little over 20,000 words, with another 21 centuries to go before she’s up to modern times. There was a very large skip there, by the way, from about 1948 BC to where she is now. She spent most of that time in ancient Israel, and while I have no problem with arguing that the biblical record is almost entirely fictional, I don’t see any reason to irritate my readers by including it in the story, either. Exodus was exciting and all that, but it never really happened, and the Israelites didn’t really come into Canaan and conquer it since they originated there, making the conquest not so much an invasion as an expansion. You’d think the modern Israelis would emphasize this, considering it actually strengthens their claim to the land.

Sarah will be interacting with people a lot more now that she’s in Rome. Caesar is assassinated in a couple years, the imperial system begins, Caligula and Nero both provide horrible examples, all that sort of thing. Then there are the middle ages to work through, Boccaccio and the black death and horny clergy, Tudor England, colonial America, the Victorian era, a couple of world wars, and on into today. Lots of time and opportunities to get the girl laid.

What’s On the Way

The real cover art will no doubt be somewhat less explicit, since it has to meet the various online booksellers’ criteria for display.

Looking forward to the next few weeks, this is what you can expect to arrive. The first new book is likely to be Wet, my soggy little tome in tribute to the art of erotic peeing. Admit it, it feels good when you pee. Of course, in the book, it isn’t always solo pissing. There’s a bit of peeing in most of my books. This one centers on the subject, so it may just be a little on the specialized side for people who just care about ordinary, everyday fucking.

Now, if you read some of my stuff, you might come to the conclusion that I’m an absolute fiend for having pretty young women pee into my mouth. Not true. I write fiction, for one thing, so you’re just going to have to guess how much of what’s in a particular story actually happened and how much didn’t. I’m not saying I never indulge, I just tend to discriminate more. All pee doesn’t taste alike. All cum doesn’t taste alike. All pussies don’t taste alike. Hell, all bread doesn’t taste alike. What you prefer is a matter of personal taste.

A very photogenic cunt. The sort a popular stripper who was fucking her brother on the side might wish to display when she’s squatting on the bar top.

I believe Wet should be out fairly soon now. After that, you can look forward to The Donkey Show, which is about exactly what it sounds like. Three male friends, and the stripper-sister of one of them, take a vacation in Tijuana in search of the legendary animal act. They even manage to find it.

I’ll admit, this one takes it to the outer limits even for erotica. Almost nothing I write ends up on Amazon now. Their standards don’t allow stories about incest, and they don’t allow stories that include people fucking animals in a night club. So why write about it, then? Because people buy it. When Amazon still allowed that sort of content it sold astonishingly well. Today, not as much is sold, most likely because the marketplace is much smaller, and a lot of potential buyers really don’t know where to look, or whether they can trust the seller if they find it. It was a lot easier before Amazon decided to give in to pressure from the moralists.

I know I have a tendency to include an actual plot in most of my stories, so that often my readers find themselves with a good bit of story to get through in between the fucking, sucking, and other goodies. If your sole reason for reading one of these tales is to masturbate while you do it, I hope I provide enough stimulation. But the next story, the one I’m in the middle of writing, may be fairly heavy in that area.

Frankly, this picture just makes me hungry. And I’m not talking about the fruit and yogurt.

Memoirs of an Immortal is going to be a long one. It’s at 12,000 words now and our heroine has just consummated her marriage (in public, since that was the custom then). That means she still has well over 6,000 years of adventures to recount before she gets up to modern times.

I’ve been having a lot of fun with this one. In the earliest part I get to create a new civilization, which most authors secretly want to do, but generally don’t get the chance to. I did a lot of the work on this in The Gods are Horny, but there’s still plenty of detail to add. After all, I have to get Zara from her one-year stint as a temple priestess at age eighteen, to widowhood at age 36, when the Moronite god Oroyna catches sight of her sucking off her son, decides he likes what he sees, and comes down off his mountain, seduces her, knocks her up, begets a demigod with her, and gives her the gift of immortality and eternal youth.

Well, eternal mid-30s, anyway. She’ll be a gorgeous redhead forever.

After that, we can get her mixed in with history. Sort of like Forest Gump, except that Forest was worked into modern history, and Zara/Sarah gets to involve herself in ancient history. Who but a Moronite immortal could find herself variously at the royal courts of King Solomon, Ahasuerus and Esther, Caligula, Macbeth, Elizabeth I, Victoria, and numerous other important people of more recent vintage. I don’t suppose there’s anything to stop her bumping into some fictional types as well, Sherlock Holmes, perhaps, or Dracula.

You just never know where a story like this is going to take you.


Not Sarah, but might be a candidate for the book cover.

Sarah Norman has now found herself in several of my books. She’s a hot redhead I met recently, or so the story goes. She first turned up in The Gods are Horny, where I dropped a few rather pointed hints that the 36-year-old Sarah might just be the same person as Zara b’Biktar, a 36-year-old Moronite beauty who ended up screwing the Moronite god, Oroyna, and having his demigod son, Nalaro, a sort of Moronite version of Heracles. Oroyna liked fucking the young woman so much that he made her immortal, so even a bit more than 6,000 years later she’d still be alive, healthy, and the same age.

Another possible candidate, though I’ve used her on the One Room cover already. Might depend on whether the licensing company has a good set with longer hair.

I have a feeling this is going to be one of my longer books. I’ve hit 10,000 words already, and the poor girl is still only 19. Nearly all of the detail has happened since her 18th birthday, naturally, that being the nature of erotica these days. I suppose there will be a bit of skipping as the years pass. A character who’s over 6,000-years-old presents an obvious opportunity for insertion into various historic events, which she can describe “in her own words.” I know she’s going to spend some time in Caligula’s court, hang around with Elizabeth I, perhaps provide some inspiration for one of Bocaccio’s horny nuns, or lend her tits and cunt as inspiration for King Solomon when he’s writing Song of Songs. I don’t think she’ll be meeting Jesus, no matter how great an opportunity to offend the maximum number of people that might present.

An interesting thing here is that, since I’m working with an established character, there are some things I can’t change. Where and when she was born, her service as a priestess in the Temple of Oroyna and Nalima in Valtera, her demigod son and personal immortality, her connections with (the fictional) me. That sort of thing. Since these things have already been set down in permanent form, about all I can do is expand on them, maybe provide a bit more of the dirty details. I presume my readers are okay with the dirty details.

One thing I do plan to do is take a slightly more active than usual part in selecting cover art. For most of my books, my publisher has provided the covers, and done a nice job of it. For this one, whether I’ll pick the image myself, or just specify stricter criteria, I haven’t decided yet. Zara/Sarah’s red hair is a very clearly delineated part of her characterization. It wouldn’t do to have a blond on the cover. Maybe I’ll pick one of the models used in this post. Maybe it’ll be someone else. I have licenses for those two sets (among others), but I may just see something I like better before the book is finished.

Which, right now, is something I need to get back to doing.